Some praise the Lord for light,
The living spark;

I thank God for the Night

The healing dark.
-Robert William Service, "Weary", first lines

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Well, it is 6AM, another night given up willingly to insomnia. The birds are singing their morning songs, my tummy is rumbling and hungry. I spent this night adding more pieces to the puzzle of my life. I watched the depositions of Dr. O and Dr. A about me, my disability, my projected progress, and the permanence of my wheelchair "fixture". I learned some new things that were quite interesting, that I was barely an incomplete SCI when I was admitted to Spain and that damage to the sacral nerves are the determinant for this classification. I also learned that the prediction of outcome is based on the 72 hour classification. I understand clearly now why Dr. O is so adament that I am cognitively impaired...she disrespects nurses and thinks "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing" and that I rationalize any cognitive issues as being related to the buttload of medications I was on in the hospital. How dare I challenge her judgement!!! (Never mind the hypersedated "coma" caused by too much baclofen in combo with all of the other medications - the time I was sent for an MRI to r/o a stroke!) She did utter a backdoor compliment by saying that I was the most improved C5, ASIA B patient she remembered treating - from a "barely incomplete ASIA B to an ASIA D. Dr. A stated one fact that is obvious to me - that I overestimate what I am capable of doing. That is true, but how would I ever find my limits if I did not attempt to push beyond what others think I am supposed to be able to do statistically? It was interesting to see and hear. Now i'm going to review my life care plan - for curiosity's sake. I watched my "Day in the Life" DVD again also. All part of the process of putting the past to rest...