Fire and Rain by James Taylor

Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone

Susanne the plans they made put an end to you

I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song

I just can't remember who to send it to

I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus

You've got to help me make a stand

You've just got to see me through another day

My body's aching and my time is at hand

And I won't make it any other way

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

Been walking my mind to an easy time my back turned towards the sun

Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around

Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come

Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you, baby, one more time again, now

Thought I'd see you one more time again

There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now

Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you fire and rain, now

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Heard this song this morning through new ears. It spoke to my struggle right now. "Susanne" represents the "me" before my accident - when I could walk, be spontaneous, and feel comfortable in my own body...I was told that you (my body whole) were gone, not to return again. I have held onto the hope that I would have it all back again, if I just believed and worked hard enough...but it is not enough to make you come back again. I've slipped into a time of denial, with my back turned toward the truth. I've depended on Jesus to get me through each day, one day at a time...I've been through good times and bad times that turned out fine, so I chose to treat this time the same. Now that it seems I will not see "Susanne" again, "sweet dreams (of complete recovery) and flying machines (hopes for the future) in pieces on the ground"...

"My time is at hand" to accept what is and to face the reality that I might have reached my maximal recovery, let go of the hope of more and more recovery and begin the reconstructing my life from where I am now.