What in the world is going on!?! I just realized that I haven't changed clothes since Friday or taken a bath since Thursday. I know I've been distracted, not sleeping, busy trying to get through the mess in my room, find and take care of school stuff for Haley, weigh the safety issues for my daughters if the travel to Nepal, and me hating every minute of my life right now. I did exercise and use my stander today, finally got my meds set up for the week, talked with the vendor who helps me with my wheelchair to start working on a car solution. I would so love to go on a trip with my daughters, but the irony of it all is that I would not be able to do so because I would not have had the money or time off of work before this accident - I was about to start my third job.. So, this is the cruel tradeoff. Now I have the money to do a little traveling, but the hassle is not worth it to me. So, if I had my old life back, I would be on the other end of the "catch 22" - able and loving to travel but no means to do so. What's up with that? How is this to be reconciled? Do I cry for awhile over the life that was not meant for me, and, once again, try to craft something of value out of this existence? It seems so unfair. I want to take my daughter and her friend to the beach. I want to take my daughters to Nepal to make certain they are safe and to share experiencing a new culture. Why is it that some people seem to have it all while I feel like I'm constantly fighting an uphill battle. I know it's just "my story". My story sucks today!!!